Thursday, July 2, 2015

WHITHER OUR MARRIAGES?



                                                                        
Marriages are made in Heaven we say but those days are gone! Belief in heaven and hell are things of the past! Present marriages are decided at bus stands, malls, restaurants, offices and above all at IT cafes where men and women  mingle freely. The old institution of marriage is dying a slow death. More than men, women have grown more and more independent and want to be equal to men in all respects. They now stand on their own legs and that gives them added strength and confidence. They earn more because of their higher qualifications and demand a spouse better qualified and better paid. They are not bothered about the parents of their spouse and more often than not want to live separately leaving the elders in the lurch. With the ratio of women to that of men dwindling rapidly, it has almost become impossible for a boy to get a suitable bride! There is a terrible mania for earning money at the cost of losing peace and tranquility, the ideals of a marriage!
      The old order of an arranged marriage by the parents is almost forgotten! If it is an arranged marriage, it is an arrangement between the boy and the girl, celebrated by the parents grandly! Our ancient law giver MANU describes eight types of marriages in his MANU SMRITHI—MANAVA DHARMA SASTRA In the first BRAHMA the father invites a man learned in the Vedas and good conduct and gives his daughter in marriage after decking her with jewels and costly garments. In the second type called DAIVA the daughter is groomed with ornaments and given to a priest who duly officiates at a sacrifice. In the third, ARSHA the father gives away his daughter after receiving a cow and a bull from the bridegroom. The fourth is called PRAJAPATYA where the father of the girl blesses the couple with the words, “ May you both perform your duties together”  The fifth type of marriage is called ASURA where the bridegroom receives the maiden  after bestowing wealth to her and her kinsmen according to his will. The sixth type is GANDHARVA VIVAHA , voluntary union of a maiden and her lover out of desire and sexual  intercourse for its purpose. The seventh type of wedding is called RAKSHASA where there is forcible abduction of a maiden from her home after her kinsmen have been slain or wounded and their houses  broken open. The eighth and the final variety is called PISACHA where a man, by stealth, seduces a girl who is sleeping or intoxicated or mentally imbalanced or handicapped!
        All these ancient marriages have lost their relevance in modern days. Love marriages have become the order of the day whether it is love at first sight or not.  More than real love, it is a kind of infatuation that drives the boy or girl. Many love marriages fail to day because of this flaw! Disagreements follow ending in divorce or in some other fatal decisions. Strain and stress, family torture, dowry demands and other issues raise their ugly heads and ruin all family happiness for which marriages are consecrated! It is said that the legendary characters Sakuntala and King Dushyanta  had a Gandharva marriage! Bhagavatha purana says that Lord Krishna married Rukmini by abducting her and wounding her brother Rukmi and his soldiers . It was a Rakshasa marriage!Modern day rapes and gang rapes and abductions come under Pisacha type of marriages where girls are seduced in their sleep, intoxication, mental imbalance or handicap!
       To add to the woes of the institution of marriage, in house living of men and women has contributed its mite. Lesbian trends and Gay marriages have become popular! Same sex marriages are approved by most of the countries in the world! There is a mistaken and misguided notion that man and woman are equal! The rights might be equal but not the bodies! Nature has definite but different roles for men and women! A good marriage is one which sustains for a long time with proper understanding between the husband and wife!!
    

No comments:

Post a Comment