Marriages are made in Heaven we say but those days are gone!
Belief in heaven and hell are things of the past! Present marriages are decided
at bus stands, malls, restaurants, offices and above all at IT cafes where men
and women mingle freely. The old
institution of marriage is dying a slow death. More than men, women have grown
more and more independent and want to be equal to men in all respects. They now
stand on their own legs and that gives them added strength and confidence. They
earn more because of their higher qualifications and demand a spouse better
qualified and better paid. They are not bothered about the parents of their
spouse and more often than not want to live separately leaving the elders in
the lurch. With the ratio of women to that of men dwindling rapidly, it has
almost become impossible for a boy to get a suitable bride! There is a terrible
mania for earning money at the cost of losing peace and tranquility, the ideals
of a marriage!
The old order of
an arranged marriage by the parents is almost forgotten! If it is an arranged
marriage, it is an arrangement between the boy and the girl, celebrated by the
parents grandly! Our ancient law giver MANU describes eight types of marriages
in his MANU SMRITHI—MANAVA DHARMA SASTRA In the first BRAHMA the father invites
a man learned in the Vedas and good conduct and gives his daughter in marriage
after decking her with jewels and costly garments. In the second type called
DAIVA the daughter is groomed with ornaments and given to a priest who duly
officiates at a sacrifice. In the third, ARSHA the father gives away his
daughter after receiving a cow and a bull from the bridegroom. The fourth is
called PRAJAPATYA where the father of the girl blesses the couple with the
words, “ May you both perform your duties together” The fifth type of marriage is called ASURA
where the bridegroom receives the maiden
after bestowing wealth to her and her kinsmen according to his will. The
sixth type is GANDHARVA VIVAHA , voluntary union of a maiden and her lover out
of desire and sexual intercourse for its
purpose. The seventh type of wedding is called RAKSHASA where there is forcible
abduction of a maiden from her home after her kinsmen have been slain or
wounded and their houses broken open.
The eighth and the final variety is called PISACHA where a man, by stealth,
seduces a girl who is sleeping or intoxicated or mentally imbalanced or handicapped!
All these
ancient marriages have lost their relevance in modern days. Love marriages have
become the order of the day whether it is love at first sight or not. More than real love, it is a kind of
infatuation that drives the boy or girl. Many love marriages fail to day
because of this flaw! Disagreements follow ending in divorce or in some other
fatal decisions. Strain and stress, family torture, dowry demands and other
issues raise their ugly heads and ruin all family happiness for which marriages
are consecrated! It is said that the legendary characters Sakuntala and King
Dushyanta had a Gandharva marriage!
Bhagavatha purana says that Lord Krishna married Rukmini by abducting her and
wounding her brother Rukmi and his soldiers . It was a Rakshasa marriage!Modern
day rapes and gang rapes and abductions come under Pisacha type of marriages
where girls are seduced in their sleep, intoxication, mental imbalance or
handicap!
To add to the
woes of the institution of marriage, in house living of men and women has
contributed its mite. Lesbian trends and Gay marriages have become popular!
Same sex marriages are approved by most of the countries in the world! There is
a mistaken and misguided notion that man and woman are equal! The rights might
be equal but not the bodies! Nature has definite but different roles for men
and women! A good marriage is one which sustains for a long time with proper
understanding between the husband and wife!!
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